A rant against the smooth life (~kinda)
"We have confused utility with anesthesia."
Recently I found myself deeply dependent on social media for entertainment and evasion. The imbalance led me to a total rejection of it. In these matters, I believe we must be somewhat ruthless (not too much) with our habits and our time.
I think the great temptation of social media is the promise of connection, a constant sense of contact with other people. Being able to see them at any moment and in any context creates a sense of closeness and presence. While on the other side is, of course, the absence of these channels can amplify a certain perceived loneliness, especially for those who use them frequently.
My doubt is wether this omnipresent window into the "lives"1 of others is actually useful. Aside from the usual debates about algorithmic manipulation, the business models of tech giants (,etc...), I want to know: is this actually useful?
I find it unhelpful to simply repeat that social media is addictive, that it wastes time, or that it erodes our attention spans. While those points are valid, a more urgent question (at least to me) is: Does this serve a real purpose in my life?
Is there genuine utility in having access the 24/7 details of another person’s existence?
I read an interesting article2 by by Kathryn Jezer-Morton arguing that modern technology is designed primarily to remove any minor inconvenience.
Reading is boring; talking is awkward; moving is tiring; leaving the house is daunting. Thinking is hard. [...] Once we’ve adopted the habit of escape, the act of returning to unmediated existence feels insufferable.
If we apply this to social media, their primary "utility" seems to be the removal of two specific inconveniences:
- The discomfort of being alone.
- The anxiety of feeling lost.
The "human hurdle" of loneliness has existed since the dawn of time. In our early history, social isolation was a death sentence; we needed others to survive the harsh conditions of life.3
Today, however, loneliness is rarely a physical threat; it is more a psychological discomfort and social media save us from having to sit in silence with our thoughts for five minutes while waiting for the bus. That is their true "utility": being a sedative.
Nowadays, our lives have become fast and uncertain. Social media offer us a temporary refuge from the constant burden of decision-making. And it is a burden. We are overwhelmed by choices. We can be anyone, travel anywhere, access any lifestyle. We can chose who to be. We can "edit" a life into existence. Choosing a life already tested by someone else is really convenient. And that's the trap.
I always thought an afternoon of solitude or uncertainty about the future were 'sufferings' I had to avoid. In reality, these are necessary frictions. The moments that reveal essential, and yes, sometimes uncomfortable, truths about who we are.
Surely, it is comforting to think that I can reinvent myself with just a click or to prove that I'm doing just fine.™ But if we silence these annoyances every time they surface, we stop questioning ourselves. We stop searching for solutions that are authentically ours.
Perhaps, then, the utility of social media is indeed to remove the friction of living: the boredom of solitude, the anxiety of choice, the weight of feeling lost... and apparently, they succeed at this brilliantly.\ But being "useful" is not the same as making us better. Sometimes, it simply turns us into spectators of one existence that becomes increasingly flat.
So... What is left of us when the road becomes completely smooth?
I now think the goal was not total comfort. A meaningful life is made by its colors and shadows, not a frictionless happiness, but a satisfaction built through the very inconveniences we try so desperatly to escape.